20 Questions You Should Ask a Potential Travel Partner Before You Leave Home

Let’s set a scene:

You’re hanging out with your best friend you’ve known for ages (it’s late at night, and there’s probably wine involved) and someone declares, “You know what? We should go to Paris!” You clink glasses and each fantasize about what it would be like to explore the City of Light, eventually heading to bed and dreaming of the twinkling lights of the Eiffel Tower.

You rekindle the discussion in the light of day, still imagining what it would be like. But before you book your flight – are you really travel-compatible? Are your dreams and desires aligned? Will you feel happy and comfortable spending so much time together away from home?

Traveling can be grueling and can push people to the end of their wits. Hunger, sleep deprivation, and culture shock can lead people to say and do things they normally wouldn’t (have you ever watched The Amazing Race?), and you should be well-prepared for how your travel partner(s) will react when you venture away from home. Today I’m sharing a list of twenty questions to discuss with a potential travel partner (scroll to the bottom for a printer-friendly version, if you’re in a hurry):

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1. What is your daily budget? Yep, we’re starting with the hardest question first. If you can’t talk about money in theory, how are you going to discuss it in practice? When establishing a daily budget, be sure to consider things like lodging, transportation, sightseeing, meals, and shopping (if that’s your thing). If your income and budgets don’t align fairly closely, things can get uncomfortable for both parties, which leads to my next point.

2. How do you want to split things financially? Another kind of cringey question, but essential for avoiding issues down the line. Some costs are easy to divide up, like lodging and transportation (Airbnb, Uber, and Lyft all offer a payment-splitting option), but others such as meals may be more challenging. Do you want to tally every cost and divide things 50-50 at the end of the day? Or do you want to be more relaxed and just take turns paying for things, figuring it will all shake out in the end? And, if one person has a little more wiggle room in their budget, are you okay sharing costs in a way that isn’t 50-50? Is a 60-40 split easier for both? Travel requires compromise and some unique problem-solving.

3. Are you okay sharing a room? What about a bed? Lodging is one of the most expensive parts of travel – and one of the easiest ways to realize cost savings. A small Airbnb, a hostel, or a basic budget hotel room can be found in nearly every city – as long as you’re comfortable staying in such close quarters together.

4. What is your living situation like when you are away? Do you live out of your suitcase, or do you need to unpack upon arrival? Do you like things neat, or do you have a tendency to let things slide on vacation? Much like living with a college roommate, it’s a good idea to discuss your habits in advance to address any potential issues that may arise. You should also focus on the specifics – dive in and touch on any details that might grate on you.

5. What is your sleep schedule like? Are you a night owl or an early bird? Do you need nine hours of sleep every night or do you prefer to let sleep come when it may? If one person wakes up early, and the other likes to sleep in, go ahead and figure out how you’ll handle your morning differences. That being said…

6. How long does it take you to get ready for the day? If your day can’t start until you have a cup of coffee, read the paper (or scroll TikTok), take a shower, dry and set your hair, apply a full face of makeup, and change outfits four times – your morning routine might clash with your travel partner’s ability to leap out of bed and head out the door five minutes later. Consider compromises that can be made, like reducing your makeup routine and grabbing coffee together on the go to balance out your mornings.

7. What is your packing style? I will advocate for packing light until my voice grows hoarse (and then I’ll write about it here ceaselessly) but I know it’s a huge hurdle for some. Do you or your friend bring more suitcases than the number of hands you have? Would you be willing to share a bag to save on baggage charges? Try to come up with a packing plan to save on hassle later.

8. How should we handle the planning and booking process? My suggestion would be to create a list of the musts at your destination and work a skeleton itinerary around those. Divide up research duties for lodging and restaurants based on what you enjoy most but always consult each other before booking anything. Create a shared online document in a program like Google Sheets or Wanderlog to manage your plans.

9. Do you prefer to plan things in advance or wing it once you get there? Chances are you’ll want a mix of both, but discuss if you want to have every moment planned or if you want to include plenty of open time for spur-of-the-moment activities.

10. What are your strengths? What about weaknesses? Determine what skills you each have (or lack) and how you can put them to good use (and what you can do to compensate). Figure out who is best at reading maps, math (you’d be surprised how often you use it!), speaking other languages, being assertive, etc. The last strength in particular is an important skill to have – who is better at speaking up when an issue arises?

11. Do you want to remain together the whole time or are you okay splitting up and doing things separately? This one is a big one to discuss ahead of time; as childlike as it may seem I’ve found that it can really lead to hurt feelings if both parties are not on the same page.

12. Is there anything you don’t feel comfortable doing at our destination? Talk about your fears before you go – is one person afraid of heights? Does the other get anxious in crowds? Be vocal about what makes you uncomfortable and the tools you might employ to overcome those fears.

13. How do you feel about driving? What about public transit? How long can you walk for an extended period of time, and how do you feel about bicycles as a mode of transportation? Whether your travel partner’s sole method of transit is the backseat of an Uber Black or if she can drive on the wrong side of the road in a stick shift and not break a sweat, go ahead and have a tentative chat about methods of transportation. Be sure to find out each other’s daily walking maximum; I find people can get grumpy when their feet are tired!

14. What is your sightseeing style? Compare your preferred daily itineraries – do they involve non-stop museum-hopping, or are they slower-paced schedules dotted with long lunches and people-watching in the park? Find a happy medium for both of you.

15. Do you have any special dietary concerns? Whether you or your partner have adapted a special dietary lifestyle or you face a food allergy, talk about it before take-off. A vegan and a near-carnivore can travel together seamlessly, as long as they can find restaurants that offer plenty of options

16. What are your shopping habits like? If one of you wants to spend the entire vacation shopping, and the other merely needs to pick up a postcard from the corner store, both people will end up frustrated. Establish a plan in advance if you think this will be an issue.

17. What are your vices? Do you drink, smoke, or yes, need a cup of coffee immediately after rising? How will this impact your day? If one of you has a vice that the other despises, that feeling is only going to multiply over the course of several days. I’ve even seen people who’ve given up smoking take up the habit again when abroad – go ahead and talk this issue through now.

18. How connected do you want to be? Personally, I enjoy putting my phone away while I travel, but others may feel the need to document every move along the way. Before you leave, have a chat about screen time, as it can really affect someone else’s day, no matter how solitary the act may seem. Discuss how often you plan to call home, and how much social media time you may want to have while you’re gone.

19. How do you feel about interacting with locals or other people while we travel? Meeting other people is one of my favorite parts of travel – getting to discuss and compare my life with someone who has lived a different one leaves a much larger impact on me than sightseeing can. However, not everyone is up for being so outwardly social. Talk with your travel partner to see how they feel about it; would you rather spend time exclusively together, or do you want opportunities to meet others?

20. Do you have any concerns about traveling with me? This question is last because it should be very carefully considered. It’s easy to wonder how someone else will impact you, but we rarely think about how our actions might affect others. Let your travel buddy think on this for a while, and give them the opportunity to answer honestly. Accept that they may not want to answer to your face, either – let them text you, email you, call you, or tell you through a mutual friend if they need to. Address these concerns and don’t take them lightly.

So now what?

Here’s the bad news: This isn’t a magazine quiz – there’s no rubric to apply a grade, and there’s no “if you got mostly A’s, you’re best travel buds! If you got mostly B’s, you’d best give it some thought. If you got mostly C’s, you probably should no longer be friends.” Instead, you’ll have to mull things over and decide for yourselves if you are travel-compatible based on your responses. And if not? It doesn’t have to be a friendship-breaker. It’s most important to make sure you’re both doing what feels right for your individual mental health and the fate of your friendship. Be honest, be open, and, who knows? Your relationship might be even stronger afterward.

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Ready to do this? Click on the image below or visit this link to access the printable PDF.

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Have you ever traveled with someone only to discover you were incompatible travel partners? What did you do to manage it and what was the outcome?